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1. You CAN NOT use your FSU Card for a
delivery. We have no way of scanning your card at the door. It
sucks we know.
2. If you are going to use a credit
card to pay for your phone order, have it with you when you call.
The last thing we want to do is sit there and wait for you to go
downstairs and out to your car across the street to get it. Also,
we will need all the numbers on the card not just the ones that you
think are important.
3. If you've been smoking weed and/or
drinking and plan on ordering, please write down your name, phone
number, address and order on a piece of paper BEFORE ordering. We
have no idea what your name is, where you live or what you want to
eat.
4. 2 for 1 Sundays does NOT apply to
the carryout special. ($6.98 for a large 1 topping pizza) There's no
way in HELL we're giving you 2 pizzas for $6 so don't even ask.
5. Also, 2-1 Sunday doesn't start
until Sunday morning at 11:00 am, NOT Saturday night at midnight.
And while we're on the subject no you can't mix and match with the
2-1.
6. If you call and ask how big a 14"
pizza is we will hang up on you.
7. Don't ask for a liter of soda. We
don't sell them. I mean, come on, when's the last time you saw a
liter of soda?!
8 We close at 2:30 a.m. every Sunday
through Wednesday. That doesn't change just because you have an
extra $20.
9. When picking up your pizza, please
remember that our store isn't a zoo. This means no staring at,
touching, feeding, or petting the employees. (Okay, maybe a little
petting...)
10. Girls - We have been offered
everything under the Sun for a free pokey stix. This doesn't phase
us because we know you're lying. Don't offer us anything unless you
really mean it.
11. If you are afraid to open your
front door after the sun goes down you probably live in a bad area
of town. You are crazy if you think we are going to send a driver to
deliver you a pizza.
12. Drivers work for T.I.P.S. Which
means - To Insure Prompt Service yes that's really what it means.
Imagine working for $4.50 and hour and wasting the gas it takes to
deliver the food only to get to the door and someone hands you a $1
tip or nothing at all. That doesn't exactly pay the bills.
13. If you are too wasted to see the
numbers on your phone I recommend designating someone to call for
you. It's called "designated ordering".
14. Don't be a drunk ahole. When you
walk in the store late at night and can barely see the front
counter, you better believe that we're pretty damn busy and it's
going to take a while for your food to be ready. Best advice ever -
Call Ahead!
15. Asking us when your food will be
ready every 5 minutes will not make the oven cook your pizza any
faster.
16. If you call on a Friday or
Saturday night and you're put on hold for a while, we're pretty
busy. An average order takes about 2 minutes to take over the phone.
When dealing with drunk people this time is doubled if not tripled.
Let's do the math... 5 lines x's 4 minutes per call = have some
frickin patience.
17. There's only one place in town
that can deliver in less that 45 minutes and all they have is cold
sandwiches. You can call at 5 o'clock Monday afternoon and it's
still going to take at least 45 minutes. So unless you want raw
dough and uncooked cheese then you're going to have to wait.
Breaking any of these rules
constitutes our right to hang up on you
and you will have to start all over again
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